it’s not because i’m hooked on grey’s anatomy or house. it is a possibility that i have acquired such disorder out of my sheer frustration in writing…Question, have you ever been awaken by a sudden urge to write?Like for no reason at all, you just literally get up and look for a piece of paper or grab your notebook and your pen. Two possible answers. First,just like Van Gogh or any artist for that matter you scribble away as if you had some sort of divine intervention second, just had mere itch you cannot stop. weird but true, coz it happen to me, bro.
i also experience it’s opposite, which you normally call as writer’s block. i had this major mental block once way back in college. If my memory serves me right it was our preliminary exams in Industrial psychology. I literally got caught in a middle of answering the first essay question. The answer was at the time at the tip of my tongue or something. But i just went blank. I just sat there, staring at the wall trying to remember 10 chapters of reading material. God! that was torture! my advice is cramming is like learning german within 15 minutes. please take my word for it.. time management always saves the day. moving on, i guess too much anxiety induces mental block. my brain just happen to go haywire for information overload. On the other hand my brain needs a little “anti-itch lotion” before this writing complusion worsen. Speaking of compulsion i’d like to share some significant events out of my own nerve-wrecking complusion.
1. finding the Bobby Fischer in me- I’m going gaga over re-harnessing my long gone skills in chess and buying a new chess set. I know this game since I was young, haven’t gone pro though. I didn’t practice enough and frankly, i’m too lazy to read chess books. Although, I played a game or two during college,nothing beats practice and dedication. For some unknown compulsion though, i discovered that i want to continue playing chess. I’m currently reading an outdated chess book that i found when i went home last november 1. My dad is or shall i say was a chess enthusiast. He cautioned me though that since chess is a game of strategy, every move counts. You can’t stop thinking and thinking and thinking..(like the energizer bunny) This means, einstein that brain power is really needed and that it can really be exhausting. Imagine picturing the entire game, and how the opponent would respond to your moves, having an entire game plan– a set of plan a’s and b’s. Genius! Only a genius like Bobby Fischer, the chess grand master is worth this mumbo jumbo. Maybe, I’m pushing myself to hard after all you can’t teach old dogs new tricks, right?! Say “Aye?!!” if you agree.
2. the quest for “Christ the Lord” by Anne Rice-I woke up, an idea popped up. I thought about it for a little, check my wallet and said “Today I shall read Anne Rice’s new book. I scoured every bookstore in the area even reaching glorietta for a paperback copy only ending back to square one–fully booked greenhills. I received their text message after 2 hours of bookstore-hopping, informing me that the paperback copy is now finally available.geezez! compulsion, schmulsion! Again the urge’s origin was unknown.
3. marathons! i don’t mean running- current craving is michael scofield of PRISON BREAK. I can’t just watch one episode.. i need to watch the entire season. I’m like glued infront the pc re-watching season 1 on dvd. this is because a.) we don’t have cable. it’s been almost 4 freaking mos. and b.) Fish is so darn pretty to watch, I can’t help it (sighs and faints into oblivion). No unnatural reason for marathons, it’s a contant need to absorb visual info. pardon me, i’m a virtual sponge, formerly a coach potato but again no cable connection. Past and recurring craving: LOST season 3. November 11 would be our “gathering” for the mini-marathon (first 6 episodes), we’d get to host the thon. If I am not mistaken, we’re one among the first tv groups who’d be hosting a marathon at murphy’s. Actually, the marathon list can go on and on, I wish someday I’d get to watch whatever i want to for one whole week until my eyes pop out of their sockets.lol!
The thing there are so much things to do but so little time..compulsions come and go..and so is my ability to end this post.
written: nov. 3,2006
re-edited: nov. 7, 2006