Ok, so maybe I am not a devote Catholic. Ironic, I’ve always been in a catholic school. Me and the lord. We’re tight. In all honesty, I only go to mass, if I have this strong feeling in my gut that I have to. It’s like divine intervention or whatever. It’s not just because I need a favor from Him. Maybe sometimes. But what’s the point in going to mass everyday, or visiting the confessionary every week, if deep inside your heart, He is not really there. For me, it’s all hypocrisy. I always pray. I don’t ask favors alot. But I do talk to him, maybe even sometimes, I tend to doubt him like all normal catholics do.
I don’t see the point of self-flagellation unless you really mean what you’re doing. Why do I have to starve myself until my eyes fall out of their sockets? why do I have go vegetarian for a week? It’s all about commemorating Jesus sufferings. It’s about joining him, putting ourselves in his shoes for awhile. But isn’t it that we suffer all the time, may it be caused by our own bidding or not. Life is full of suffering. We don’t just experience it during lent. Maybe, I’m being irrational. I don’t know. Maybe I can’t really sacrifice my cravings for the chrissake. However, I do share HIS cross. Each one has her or his cross to bear. We carry it everyday. At this time though, I just feel like doing nothing. Nothing.And time will come that HIS will WILL be DONE. Consumatum Est. Perhaps, we can share him in this eternal bliss. And we can finally say that. IT IS DONE.