on the verge

Have you ever found yourself staring at the wall hoping something would come out and snap you out of your catatonic state. Lately, I’ve been having those instances where I stare blankly at my computer screen or something just to get my mind off the things at work—things that I should be thinking about. My mind is always wandering and it makes me wonder..what is happening to me? Is this the sign of a nervous breakdown? Sometimes I think about a lot of things. Things that I should be doing. Things that I shouldn’t have done. My mind is always preoccupied that I often think that I am no longer functioning as I should be. Functioning. Very robotic. I going through a lot of things lately. I don’t know if I’m just slow in adaptation..poor at the very least. Starting from scratch is a bummer. I find it difficult to let go of things and to be out of my comfort zone, I guess. I just feel alone. That’s all. I know, I’m a wuss. I should start asking myself. What is it that you really want to do? Whatever it is, do it before it’s too late. The question is where’s  does my inner compass point at? Let’s face it, I’m poor in directions. The thing is a part of me wants to strangle my other half to snap out of my moping and whining while the other half just wants to roll over and play dead. I’d like to do both. First, I want to snap out of my delusional self while there’s still time left. After all, judging by the lifestyle that I have right now, I doubt that I’ll have all the time in the world to whine. The last time that I had a rigid exercise was during college p.e. And my diet.. my diet is very very unhealthy.Like the rest of the population, I eat junk. Where would this take me? If all else fails, I just might roll over and play dead. But that’s beyond the point. My first goal right now is to get my mojo–who took my motivation? Give it back, you ..You wouldn’t want to see me angry. I will hunt you like the lion that I should be.

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