Misplaced :/

August– the busiest month yet. I’ve been here and there but I still feel misplaced. Where am I going exactly? First, there has been this sudden nagging from my aunt to go out of the country. I received a text one Saturday morning. She asked me if I already have a passport because she was informed that there are promotional fares going to Singapore . We can visit our cousin in October (since there will be a semestral break—her daughter and my other cousins can come too). Me, her daughter, plus two other cousins ‘MIGHT’ travel alone, on semi-vacation mode with no adult supervision whatsoever. She is insisting that for once in my life I could experience life outside Phil and well, probably.. get lost in south east Asia just for the heck of it. I get her point and actually, I would like to go. But I’m considering that all of these travel plans might just as what my other cousin said “drawing”. With less than a month to save money, the possibility of dropping dead in the middle of nowhere because we’re broke may not be far from reality. If we really need to push through with this, tickets should be booked already, our schedules should be finalized, I should be worrying what to bring and whatnot and perhaps beg my dad to possibly loan me the money I will need to finance my spur-of-the-moment trip. Good thing for my cousins is that they have their travel passes already. I, being the non-nomadic, stay-at-home kid that I am is rushing with all these paper work. Hence taking leaves of absences and all those shit.. What a loser? At 23, I should have conquered SE Asia already. Well, anyway, there will always be a first time. And take note the absences I took, they’re all LWOP, leave without pay. How in the world can I save? I’m thinking on not taking a cab going to work but the risk of getting late and possibly waking up early in the morning convinced me to concur. Besides, if I were to choose between commuting 3 times and worrying whether the cab driver is an ex-con, I would choose the latter. At least with this, I can still work on my paranoia rather than jumping from one PUB to another and ending up looking like a hag. What if I try to join deal or no deal or maybe buy those shampoo sachets with hidden prizes, or try playing the lottery? There are a lot of possible solutions, if only these possibilities become reality. There is no way I can get that enough money, in such a short span of time. I’m still having reservations, just in case by hook or by crook, I am able to get my finances ready. What happens when I get back? It is a bit early to cash in my VLs. I mean by October, I will be able to take advantage of my vacation leaves, hence, the more nagging I get from my aunt. If this trip will take place, I’d get another year-worth of back lags. I’ve been struggling to finish all these unfinished business in the office. I can see those aging lines and the urgency to down more lipovitan and other “stress-busting drugs”. The usual caffeine has left me feeling drowsy and narcoleptic so scratch that. Leaving the office is like entering a different dimension. When you get back, you’ll feel like a stranger. Plus, I also have some extra responsibilities that need to be dealt with immediately. I’ve been really preoccupied lately and I missed engagements and gatherings and wait, Nina’s first gig ever.. Dammit! Seriously, I need a clone or better yet hand me Sparrow’s compass


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