touch my body

For those who don’t know me, I am not always the touchy-feely type.

So for the sake of information, You (who shall not be named) must be aware that you cannot come in contact with me —physically just because:

1. You think it’s cute.

2. You think I’m cute.

3. You think that the only way to communicate or to get to the point is through pinching me, tapping my shoulder or caressing my elbow.

4. You are unaware of the advances you are making but it’s undeniably obvious.

5. You are touchy-feely and you think all people appreciate skin to skin interaction.

You may poke,caress,grab, grope, touch me if and only if:

1. You are BRANDON BOYD.

2. You are about to fall, slip, or slide and I am the closest person you can find as leverage.

3. You are blind and you have mistaken me for a lamp post.

4. The feeling is mutual.

5. I am too drunk to function.

So the next time you make the “move” again, I shall ask for a temporary restraining order.

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