The Ultimate Test of Alcoholic Tolerance….

No. Joyce is not alcoholic.. not just yet. I am not a bigger drinker. I actually suck. But I’ve already enumerated some lessons learned from drinking before.

But last night’s drinking spree was one of the most memorable ones—the ultimate test of alcoholic tolerance. It was a friend’s nephew’s birthday party in Antipolo. And no amount of rain can quest the thirst. Sure it was a long drive but heck it was worth it. Now, I’m really scared…I sound like a man now. So anyway, here’s some realizations:

1. I’ve met my match – Hi Kurant. I hope you remember me.

2. I now know why some people end up getting a tattoo or a broken heart.

3. Selective amnesia is definitely possible.

4. It knows no gender nor age–a killer shot is a killer shot.

5. Sobriety is just a phase when you’re young, underpaid and almost 24.

6. In this day and age, going M.I.A. during a drinking spree with one of your guests can only mean one thing… you ain’t just chilling.

7. When the room seems to be spinning and you feel like you need a colonoscopy, STOP. You might end up vomiting in one of the shot glasses.

8. Tequilla, in a your drunken state means… TO KILL YA.

9. Puking your lungs out can be a source of bonding.

10. I must start drinking liver aid or kidney care.

11. Never succumb to the challenge of the minority. YOU might JUST LOOSE.

12. MIX DRINKS only when absolutely sure of a.) your impending puke fest and possible hard core encounter with Hang Over b.) a friend’s physical capacity to carry your drunken ass in case you pass out.

13. ALL IS FAIR when you’re drinking with minors–minors who don’t really drink.

14. Loose your sobriety and go home afterwards. GO STRAIGHT home. PERIOD.

15. It doesn’t really matter if you change your clothes. YOU WILL STILL SMELL like BARF, ALCOHOL and DRIED SALIVA.

So here’s to last night’s amnesia inducing drinking spree…. a toast to FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES and their IRON LIVERS….


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