Hey Mum!

Dear Mum,

How’s the afterlife? Did you know that smoking kills? Yep, that’s what I heard. How’s Uncle? I hope he’s also up there. However, rumor has it that he’s playing devil’s advocate in the pits of hell.

In case, you haven’t been tuning in lately, Dad has been touring the region. He has a groupie of some 18 – 20 year olds. Crazy, I know. Yep, you got to hand it to him. He’s living the rock star dream. At his age, it’s just a consolation. So yeah, I concur.

I hope that you’re happy up there. I would love to join you someday. Well, that relatively depends if I give in to Satan’s offer of eternal awesomeness and Coca-Cola body of hotness (just like yours).

I’ve been having chest pains lately. No biggie actually, if it’s going to be the free ticket to never never land.

Well, let’s see, in our family we can’t really ignore those symptoms, right? But we’re different. We have always learned things the hard way. Yep, we’re stubborn like that.Maybe I did got that from you and not from Dad.

So anyway, work’s really a pain right now. I think PAIN is an understatement. It’s an abomination! I might render overtime this Saturday. It’s pretty fcked up. I worked my ass off for a month and suddenly the server had gone haywire. POOF! Back to zero!

Although, it pays rent, provides the me luxury of getting piss drunk on weekends (on a rarity) or buys me the books I’d kill to read, still I’m struggling to accept that I am no longer your asthmatic obese three-year old.

Yes, Mom. I grew up to be such a drama queen. So yeah, you’d probably burn this imaginary letter or skip to the not-so-boring parts which I can tell you now that there is none.

Anyway, do you remember that photo? That’s one of my favorites as it perfectly shows how carefree you really are. Even though, everyone knows you are such a nervous wreck and on certain occasions, you basically spell the word RECKLESS ABANDON. I remember you and Dad use to hangout in our veranda, you smoking HOPE while sipping on your SanMig light and Dad massaging your foot and drinking his vino. Good times, yeah?! I wish we can bring back those days. O well, everyone’s moved on. I’m sure I’d be fine.

Don’t worry about me. Worry about father. He’s been going out a lot. But I don’t have my eyes and ears right now. Well, maybe sooner or later I’ll figure out if there’s another Uma Thurman has bee hanging in the door step.

I’d let you know as soon as I can. Wait, you’re probably watching right? Why haven’t you hexed the guy yet?

Anyway, if you’re not too busy getting a pedicure or something, visit me and give me those lottery numbers I’ve been praying every night.

P.S.

I’d be meeting up with your ever loving sisters again. They’ll probably tell me for the nth time to loose weight or to stand up straight or to stop slouching or to dress up a bit..you know, usual stuff they’ve been saying for the last 24 years of my existence. I guess I should just let it in the right ear and out the left, right?

And I did visit gramps.. He has no clue who I am by now. He asked my name and whose family tree I belong to for approximately 10 times.

Other than that, every thing’s peachy and perfect (and full of crap on certain levels).

Your Daughter,

Joyce a.k.a. Bing-Bing

Advertisements

One thought on “Hey Mum!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s